Is my kink/fetish normal?
What is the difference between a kink and a fetish?
A fetish is something necessary for someone to experience sexual satisfaction. A fetish can involve a variety of body parts, objects, and activities, including role play, voyeurism and spanking. For some people, simply fantasising about the fetish can be enough, while others may need to engage with the object or behaviour.
A kink is usually something considered outside of mainstream sexual activities. It may be a fun addition to someone's sexual experiences, but it's not always needed to experience sexual satisfaction. Instead, a kink usually brings extra erotic energy, which can also be in the form of mental and emotional stimulation.
Is my Kink/fetish normal?
Kinks and fetishes are less taboo now than ever, which is excellent! They are also much more common than you might realise too. In a 2017 report by the Journal of Sexual Research on 'The Prevalence of Paraphilic Interests and Behaviors in the General Population, ' nearly half of the participants reported having a kink or fetish.
Human sexuality is individual and will be unique to each person, so it's important to focus on whatever feels right for you. For example, one person may enjoy being turned on by mythical creatures, while another may enjoy feet or rope play.
A fetish only becomes unsafe when it involves a violation of consent or something that could cause serious harm to you and others. If you are worried about a kink or fetish, then it might be helpful to seek support from a mental health professional or sex therapist.
Why do I have this kink/fetish?
It is very common for a person to have multiple fetishes/kinks and new ones emerging all the time, but why and where do they stem from? There are many theories on why we may develop a kink or fetish; here are two of the most popular ones. However, so much research still needs to be done before there is a concrete answer.
The Pavlovian theory
In the 1960s, researchers consistently showed a group of men images of naked women alongside pictures of boots. Eventually, some of them became aroused by the photos of boots all by themselves. This study suggests that if you're exposed to something enough times when sexually stimulated, then your brain can form sexual associations around random objects, even if no arousal impulse was there to begin with.
The brain-overlap theory
Studies show that in the human brain, the areas that control your sexual body parts are adjacent to those that control other appendages. It is believed that these regions can overlap in activity resulting in the arousal of things like feet. So the reason why foot fetishes are one of the most popular ones is because the region that manages your genitalia is close to the region that manages your feet.
The most popular fetishes and kinks
So that you feel less alone, here are just a few of the most popular kinks/fetishes:
Hair
Shoes
Voyeurism
Sub & Dom play
Feet
Cuckolding
Humiliation
Latex/Leather
Rope Bondage
Masochism
Knismolagnia (tickling)
Urophilia (urination)
Orgasm Control
Key things to remember when exploring kinks and fetishes?
Always communicate what you like with your partner/s and allow some time for processing.
Respect the boundaries and limits of both parties.
Communicate when things don't feel right.
Always be upfront about your skill levels and what you have and haven't tried before.
Always have a safe word.
Final word
Having a kink or fetish does not make you weird; finding healthy ways to explore and try them can enhance your sex life. However, if your kink or fetish is potentially dangerous or could cause harm to you or others, then it's important not to act on it and seek experienced professional help.
